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Worzels World - Life lessons just for the kids


It occurred to me that after a decade of writing this column I have yet to pen something specifically for the younger generation. This is perhaps an oversight that should be addressed. 

Due to the degeneration of our education system I will use no big words not in common use and will explain in parenthesis (brackets) any complicated or obscure idioms. This will be difficult as I enjoy inserting adjectives (describing words). Indeed one reader who has far exceeded the biblical average age of three score and ten (70 years) must still look up the occasional word in the dictionary. I like that. If the truth is too accessible it is devalued (not worth as much). Out of respect for my older readers I will however refrain from using any text messaging shorthand.

The first thing I would like to inform my young readers (those under 40 years old) is that you are stupid. Now, before you complain to some government agency about hate speech or discrimination or start crying due to loss of self-esteem I would add that it is not entirely your own fault. You have been led astray. Like mushrooms you have been kept in the dark and fed fertiliser of a male bovine origin (an obscure slightly complex word joke made in order to avoid inappropriate language). So my apologies (saying sorry) on behalf of us older generation. It may be presumptuous of me as I am not certain if we are all genuinely sorry. But not being involved in social networking I cannot ask them. 

We have, as the old saying goes, spared the rod and spoiled the child. To further spoil you, adults and parents have been your slaves, your chauffeurs, your caterers; they have hovered over you to keep you safe. Yes they have saved you from valuable experience, and saved you from learning valuable lessons in the school of life. They have made you dependent. They have made you expect too much, and expecting more than is likely to be got will always lead to disappointment. 

Only a century ago, as soon as a child had sufficient ability they were expected to work at something useful. These days many children of privilege stay home long into their adult life. They have been led to have high expectations that will prove unrealistic and go unrealised in the wider world of today and tomorrow. It is likely that it will be a little unsettling to discover that your best years are over by the time you have grown into either adulthood or adultery. The human being though has proved to be, given a little time, a most adaptable species. So don’t lose heart. However going from slave master to slave in such short order will be a major challenge for you no matter which way you look at it.

So now I will do my adult grown up duty and try and dispel some of the illusions brought upon you by the vast quantity of manure shovelled in your direction throughout your young lives. 

Contrary to popular misconception there are only two genders of people. In some other specie these can reasonably be spread over three categories as some shellfish, worms, fungus and such like can be hermaphrodites (containing within individuals both male and female reproductive organs). This does not occur naturally in humans. 

It is not the norm to live in debt. Once upon a time, before you were born, people saved up to buy things. Debt is a ruse invented by evil people traditionally known as usurers in order to defraud productive people of their wealth.

Education is not about learning how to behave in an appropriate way that is in accord with current social mores. Real education is about equipping people with the tools necessary to understand the real world and to survive and live productive and satisfying lives.

Social media, modern communications devices, and virtual reality are a poor substitute for actual reality. For thousands of years it has been possible for human beings to live happy and fulfilling lives without computers or cellphones. Whether this is possible now is still a matter of debate.

Because you have been taught not to bully you may be unprepared to eventually face state agencies and other corporate bodies that are the biggest bullies around and will bully and intimidate you whenever they can. You have been led to believe that success is not about achievement or excellence but that it is all about participation. Sadly this is not so in the big bad world of today where competition is stiff indeed and only a very few can expect to prosper.

Of course there are many so-called grown-ups who have been duped by these same lies and who also live within a false paradigm (imaginary or unreal mental construct). If you come across one please be generous and put a couple of dollars in their cup.

 Feedback? Email prof_worzel@hotmail.com

To further spoil you, adults and parents have been your slaves… they have hovered over you to keep you safe. They have made you dependent… and expecting more than is likely to be got will always lead to disappointment. 

The Mangawhai Focus is the only 'Mangawhai' community Newspaper and is the paper of choice within the local area.

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