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Worzels World - Beware the Alien invasion

 

It is the time of year when there are such things that are generally referred to as functions. These are events that use Christmas, New Year and summertime as excuses for extravagant indulgence that we may otherwise feel guilty about. They often consist of a social gathering where cold sausages and warm beer are consumed. During such events people stand about exchanging information of dubious authenticity and little value. This is known as small talk and is a strange name for what can go on at great length. 

It was at one such event that a fellow enquired if I believed in aliens. I replied that not only do I know they exist, I see and hear from them frequently and have become pretty good at spotting them socially and on various media channels. Indeed, as I told him, they seem to have increased in numbers over recent years leading me to suspect that these aliens have been intermarrying (or is it called interpartnering these days) with humans and we now have many generations of aliens living among us. They are not the benign, helpful style of alien like Dr. Spock of Star Trek fame – they possess neither the inscrutable logic nor the pointy ears. 

I know they are aliens though because I am a human and apart from vaguely similar anatomical and skeletal structures I have nothing whatsoever in common with them. They speak a different language from me even when it is English. They have little or no human empathy. The way they think is betrayed by what they say, and what they say is upside down, inside out and entirely opposed to what human beings have traditionally come to think of as reason and common sense.

Like all alien archetypes portrayed throughout the ages, these ones are also hell bent on taking over the earth. Moreover they seem to be rapidly increasing their scope of power and influence. I have noticed they are disproportionately represented in media of all types. They are remorseless in lobbying government both here and abroad. The public service has been heavily infiltrated by them to such a degree that it is rare to find any humans there at all these days. Many of their crazy alien ideas have now become manifest as law and some have become almost mainstream dogma. Hollywood is chock full of aliens and there are more than a few in parliament.

But look closely at any committee, council or commission and you will be sure to spot one or two if you know what to look for.

As we all know, humans are fallible and all people make mistakes. Aliens however will not acknowledge this in themselves. Aliens see everything in terms of black and white. White being what they want and black being everything else. They consider themselves to be a superior race and cannot accept such obvious human traits as being wrong or even being uncertain. Aliens know what’s what and know what’s best for you and yours. They are good at telling you what to do but not so good at showing you. They are much like the emotionless Dr. Spock of Star Trek fame but without the logical reasoning and the funny ears.

The fellow seemed impressed.
“You seem to know a fair bit about ‘em. How do ya reckon they got here?”
‘They probably came in a car like everyone else,” I replied. 
He looked at me like I hadn’t understood the question.
“No, I mean what planet do you reckon they came from?”

It was clear the fellow was either subject to alien mind control techniques or was an alien himself. But that was no reason to lie to him.
“Well this one I suppose. Just because they’re aliens doesn’t mean they’re extraterrestrials. It would be ridiculous to suppose that such incompetent entities could traverse the vastness of galaxies to come here. If they were capable of such feats they might actually have something to offer.”

There is not a single scrap of evidence to suggest even the remotest possibility of life elsewhere in the universe, not even simple microscopic insensible cells. I think we can safely say there are no extraterrestrials here on Earth. But aliens? They’re a certainty. 

prof_worzel@hotmail.com


Hollywood is chock full of aliens and there are more than a few in parliament… look closely at any committee, council or commission and you will be sure to spot one or two if you know what to look for.
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