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Worzel's World - A message from the powerful to the pathetic

 

In my capacity as a sometime investigative reporter I can relate the following. It is paraphrased for brevity’s sake. Satan had been working on a plan.

He knew it wasn’t perfected but time was short and the pressure was on. A devil was sent in through the back door. He whispered to the fallen ones. The powers-that-be were moved and decreed to the people upon whom they relied for sustenance. There is an enemy amongst us, they said, that seeks to destroy us.

You cannot see him, but we can, and although we have lied to you and robbed you in the past we now will be your saviours and we will protect you. This enemy has not flesh and blood – he is a demon of great power and his name is Covid-19 and to ward off the evil that he brings we must perform many magic rituals.

To appease this demon, you must do many silly things. First you must not touch each other. The demon knows that human contact is a healing thing and he will punish you for it. You must stand in queues for everything, two metres apart. We know that this demon can jump short distances only. Two metres is too far for him. Don’t ask us how we know. This we cannot tell you. It is special knowledge understood only by the enlightened ones who understand the ways of Covid demons.

Likewise, we know that the demon can do basic arithmetic and is just crazy about observing certain rules. If only a few people are in a supermarket he will not enter but any number above a completely arbitrary figure that we will set and he will enter inside to rob, kill and destroy. He is however allowed free range at hardware shops and farmers supplies. He hangs around there all the time so you must not enter at any time.

You must wear silly masks that will make the demon laugh so hard about the gullibility of people that he will not be able to harm you. Wearing a mask will also serve to show others that you are stupid without them having to talk to you for any length of time to find out. You must cease work.

The demon dislikes the prosperity and wellbeing that comes through hard work and productive endeavour. Don’t worry about how you are to live. Simply put your faith in government, who have magically conjured up free money for those who must be idle because of the mighty demon. This will give you a feeling of security and allow access to the diminishing resources available – at least until these run low, rampant inflation kicks in, and our economic foundation crumbles like Chinese cement.

Churches of all stripes are hereby advised that the invisible God you worship is no match for our pet demon. You must close church-house doors and cease to gather in the name of your God of love, freedom, life and healing. By so doing you will be submitting to the power of our mighty demon. This will please him very much.

You should instead stay home and worship our god of fear and sickness and death. Now the government is your shepherd and God knows where that will lead. To all those who remember brave men of the past who stood against unbridled power and sometimes died believing that through their sacrifice others might be free, you must give up the freedom they so valiantly fought for and submit to those who again want power over you. Otherwise the bad demon will get you.

The demon hates those who overcome fears of bullet and blast and shrapnel and death, to do or die for what they hold to be right and true. He loves it when people are terrorised by the thought of a case of the flu. We must please the demon at all costs. So listen to the Queen of the long face and sombre tones.

Believe the lies, comply, don’t ask questions or think for yourselves. It is time for cowards of all races and creeds to sit down, stay home and shake in their slippers. We are from the government and we are here to help. We, of the powers that be, would also like to advise police and the judicial system that it is no longer your job to serve the people whose taxes pay your salaries.

You must rather oppress and suppress them according to our dictatorial decree. Even though you are under oath to obey and enforce the law, under no circumstances should you remind yourselves of the provisions of the Privacy Act or let the Human Rights Act influence your behaviour. You must suppress any empathetic feelings for your fellow citizens and further terrorise them in accordance with the ridiculous rules that we have decided to impose.

Finally, we would encourage all bitter, resentful, angry, offended and aggrieved citizens not to direct these emotions negatively towards the State that so loves and cares for you, but rather let them inspire you to dob in your neighbour.

Unless we can successfully divide and conquer, the demon cannot get his way and we will be unable to completely rob you of your power and your prosperity. Thank you for your blind obedience.

The nefarious powers that ought not to be would like to thank their collaborators, The United Nations and the World Health Organisation, and also its sponsors the Bill and Belinda Gates Foundation.

„ Feedback? Email prof_ worzel@hotmail.com
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